There is nothing wrong with being a selective perfectionist, as long as you have priorities straight and respect deadlines. Some things are barely worth doing and not worth doing well. There is also a level of "perfect enough," and sometimes it is more important to finish something than to finish it more perfectly. It is important to do some things regardless of how perfectly or imperfectly you are able to do them. Trying isn't enough. Some things just have to be done.
I worry about the use of priorities to excuse the "not doing" of important things. People often do what they want to do at the expense of something they should do, and say that it was after all more important to do what they did, saying things like, "family is most important" etc. Most often we can do both if we schedule. Recognizing the improbability of perfection is probably also important. We need to do the best we can in the time we have and to be happy about it.
It is when our "perfectionism" is focused on only one point that it creates problems. If it ignores the effect of our actions on our stress level and on the happiness of those around us, we can be making ourselves and others perfectly unhappy. We need to do the best we can with everything all at the same time. That may mean selectively neglecting neglectable things. Paper plates and frozen rolls (or even store bought ones) may not be the best when the quality of presentation and preparation matter, but the food gets cooked and the table gets set and it's okay when something else needs to be focused on. One of the challenges we have is trying to meet the expectations of others. Trying to keep everybody happy gets added into our own calculation of what is needful.
Two scriptures come to mind:
Luke 10:42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
Doctrine and Covenants 88:119 Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing . . .
This hasn't been a perfect post, but writing it has helped me think. And right now that is enough.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Mothers learn to skip things that have to be done again tomorrow.
I have relatively recently discovered the idea of practicing imperfection. It's a "do it anyway" attitude that helps me overcome my habit of paralysis and to enjoy the learning process (which often includes making many mistakes). Theoretically, if you plan on imperfection, it's not so scary to try new or hard things. It doesn't mean not trying to do your best. It has more to do with lowering expectations and perhaps increasing humility. I have a long way to go. There's my imperfect comment on the subject. :)
I'm fascinated in the common theme, the pressure we put on ourselves, the way we push ourselves, or retreat from expectations, or when we change what we expect (and why and when that happens, and if it is long term or a temporary change).
If the commandment is to be perfect, to be perfected through the Atonement, to be like Christ, then we must need to get really good at repenting and the repetition that requires. I can be a perfect scripture reader for three days in a row, then a slacker day/interruption happens, and I have to start over. Perfect in our continued attempts, in our striving, in our moving mostly forward, even with the backwards sliding days, progress still being made...
I think you are a perfectly brave mom! You are good at communicating. I am thankful you are a blogger and a sharer.
Mmm. I think I need to come back to this post often. Good thoughts. Thank you.
I know I often negelect things (mainly housework) because I can't get it done perfectly (which actually means the way I want it done) and this frustrates the people around me. You've given me some good food for thought and more importantly perhaps is the doing not the thinking.
Post a Comment